Child-Rearing by Sara Walters: Advice on Preschool from Your Weirdest, But Most Direct Friend

I am a weirdo, which results in me having a limited group of close friends. My humor is similar to that of a 14-year-old boy, so not a lot of grown women are into it. I’m also a little overly direct. No fluff happening here. And inappropriate. Definitely inappropriate. Also REALLY LOUD. But I do have some pretty awesome ladies in my squad that keep putting up with the strange shit my brain comes up with. Here’s a snippet of text messages to give you a little sample of what they endure.

Me at the hospital trying to get fluids while battling the stomach flu:
Sara: I told her I was I was “pro IV” and she just stared at me.
D: Well that probably was taken differently than you meant it…
Sara: Thought of that after. I’m now part of a narcotics investigation. I looked like shit, so I’m sure that helped convince them I was a dope fiend.

Upon learning that there is such thing as “porch pirates” who steal your delivered packages:
Sara: I just ordered one. Great. I’m getting delirious from staying up past 8pm.
K: Bahahaha. I love that.
Sara: Hopefully it doesn’t get stolen by an Iranian man in a pantsuit.  

And then most recently, me giving parenting advice in regards to the pros/cons of 3K:
Sara: Just read him some books and teach him to say please and thank you and you’re good. That’s my plan. 

Basically, if you can put up with the bizarre stuff from samples 1 and 2, you’ll get the valuable nugget in 3. The friend who I gave this advice to said I should blog about it because she is one of the rare ones who knows I’m not a total lunatic and maybe even occasionally benefits from being friends with me.

I’ve been investigating a 3K for Caroline in the last couple weeks. We found one we liked at our church and I’m sure she’d love it. But she’s got a great daycare and I’m not sure she’d learn much more than she’s getting now. So we’re not going to send her and I refuse to feel guilty about that. Andy and I are pretty hands-on parents. We read C books, talk about colors with her, count things together, show her how to do daily things like brush her teeth and put her dirty clothes in the hamper. When kids are 2 and 3, do they need more than that? I’m not sure they do. We make her say please before she gets a snack and she has to clean up her own toys when she creates a tornado. I know I’ve stressed out about learning and education and structure and all that stuff, but my new motto is if she’s happy (I mean in general, when you’re a good parent your kid is going to be pissed at you sometimes) then I’m happy. When she’s truly unhappy, we’ll figure it out. If you’re active in your kid’s life and make an effort to teach them to be kind, you can do whatever you want about school. Send them to 3K, that’s great. Don’t send them to 3K, that’s great too. No judgement here.

And make sure to get a friend like me who can blow up your phone with weird texts and the occasional reassuring tidbit. That also helps.